Koala Carry and the opportunity I almost missed

I saw it going south.

My child was angry. Frustrated. She'd already thrown something across the room, and every instinct in me reached for the plan: get her outside, get her regulated. We told her: "Hey, you need to go run outside."

You could tell she wasn't going to budge.

And every part of me wanted to meet that with more of the same. No, we need to get you outside. Hold the line. Stick to the plan.

My wife did something else entirely.

She got down on all fours and said, "Koala carry, you're on my back — out we go." Instantly, the energy in the room changed as my daughter clambered on my wife's back. My child was giggling. A moment that could have tipped into writhing, screaming and volatility just… dissolved.

And here's what stayed with me: my wife recognised, in that moment, that what our daughter actually needed wasn't a directive. It was connection, closeness, something to laugh about together.

Strength sometimes looks different to how I imagined. It can look like a gentle reassurance that "I've got you."

Do you have an equivalent of a Koala Carry? Where might playfulness help diffuse volatility?

(I'm conscious what may work for one kid, won't work for another. Physical touch isn't always welcome.)

This isn't a pass or fail question. Five years into parenting, we may have only just discovered what seems to be a game-changer for one of our two daughters. It's become our go-to response over the past week. And I don't presume that every child has one — if only! But if you've found something that seems to work time after time for your child, I'd love to know.

If the strategy you're holding onto isn't landing, give yourself permission to put it down and try something else instead. It can be easy to stay firm but miss the opportunity for connection that's needed. I'm still learning to do both.